


Canon Fire

by yurianimeotaku



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Mai-HiME, Strawberry Panic!, 神無月の巫女 | Kannazuki no Miko | Destiny of the Shrine Maiden
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 09:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yurianimeotaku/pseuds/yurianimeotaku
Summary: This is a re-edited version of the one-shot I wrote almost ten years ago. The original version is posted on fanfiction.net





	Canon Fire

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: Kannazuki no Miko is the property of TNK and Geneon Entertainment. Mai-Hime is the property of Sunrise. Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and Toei Animation. Strawberry Panic is the property of Sakurako Kimino and Media Blasters. The author of this fan fiction does not profit, in any way, from this story. All creative rights to the characters and titles belong to their original creator(s).
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTE: One day, after reading a particularly disturbing fan fiction, I pondered what my favorite canon yuri couples would think of the fan fiction written about them, if they read it. This is the result…

In a room, somewhere in Tokyo, Kaname Kenjo and Momomi Kiyashiki brought ten women together. The ten women milled around the room, waiting for answers, wondering why they were there. 

“Shizuma, what do you think is going on?” Nagisa Aoi asked an obviously distracted Shizuma Hanazono. 

“Nagisa, I have no idea,” Shizuma absently answered, as she silently appraised the other women in the room. 

Shizuma, an avid disciple of Sappho, was certain the entire group was of the same ilk and coupled. She found all the women stunning. 

“Shizuru, who do you think all these women are?” Natsuki Kuga asked as her eyes darted from woman to woman. 

“Hmmm, I do not know my Natsuki,” Shizuru Fujino answered in her distinctive Kyoto-ben, as she slipped her arm into Natsuki’s. 

“I only know you three,” Chie Harada said, as she wrapped her arm around her girlfriend Aoi Senoh’s waist. 

“Chikane-chan, those four women are touching each other like you and I do,” Himeko Kurusugawa said. 

“Himeko, ALL the women in this room are like you and I,” Chikane Himemiya chuckled as she surveyed the room. 

“Michiru, we don’t have time for this nonsense. Do you feel a disturbance?” Haruka Tenoh paced around her longtime partner Michiru’s chair. 

“Haruka, please sit down and stop pacing,” Michiru Kaioh implored her panther-like lover. 

Thirty minutes later, Kaname entered the room with Momomi following closely behind. 

“Thank you all for coming. Please be seated,” Kaname opened. 

“We were brought here!” the women exclaimed in unison. 

“Oh, that. Sit down anyway. Let’s get started,” Kaname threw packets at each of the women, reading out their names. 

“She can’t talk to me that way!” Haruka softly growled. 

“Haruka,” Michiru placed her hand on Haruka’s arm and quickly defused the blonde racer’s anger. This action was not lost on Shizuru. 

“Who the hell does she think she is?” Natsuki softly grumbled. 

“My Natsuki,” Shizuru placed her hand on Natsuki’s shoulder and quickly defused her grumpy girlfriend’s anger. She heard Michiru softly giggle and they gave each other _knowing_ smiles. 

Each woman immediately opened her packet as soon as she received it. 

“Read the contents. We’ll be back in a few,” Kaname and Momomi left the room, locking it behind them. 

Haruka leapt at the door, only to find it locked. 

“Go read your packet Tenoh-san!” came from behind the closed door. 

A resigned Haruka returned to her place next to her beloved Michiru, who was almost finished reading the contents of her packet. 

“Michiru, what does it say?” Haruka asked as she peered over her shoulder. 

“Haruka, read your own,” Michiru answered. 

Silence fell over the room as the women continued reading their packets. 

“WHAT?” exclaimed an extremely angry Natsuki, as she quickly stood up and sent her chair flying backwards. 

“Ikezu,” a calmer, but obviously upset Shizuru followed. She then attended to calming Natsuki down and getting her back in her now righted chair. 

Similar reactions began to ripple throughout the room, as each woman finished reading the contents of her packet. Seconds after the last woman’s angry outburst, Kaname and Momomi entered the room. 

“What is the meaning of this?” the women angrily asked in unison. 

Kaname flashed her trademark smirk and opened her mouth to speak, when Shizuma interrupted her. 

A definitely irritated Shizuma stood and demanded, “What are you two up to now?” 

“I was about to tell you Shizuma- _sama_ , so please sit down and be quiet. You are no longer Etoile and I’m in charge here,” Kaname smugly answered. 

“Etoile? What? They know each other?” wafted through the room. 

“Each of your packets contain examples of what is called, _fan fiction_. These are writings by fans and posted all over the Internet on various websites. Momomi gave each of you fan fiction written specifically about you,” Kaname concluded. 

Momomi elaborated, “The reason each of you was brought here today is because you are ALL considered _canon couples_ , meaning your relationships have been established, are well-known, and extensively written about by the fans. In some cases, canon couples are referred to by their blended names, as with Fujino Shizuru and Kuga Natsuki, who are commonly referred to as ‘ShizNat.” 

“ShizNat?” Natsuki grumbled and Shizuru softly giggled as she linked her arm with Natsuki’s. 

“Hey ShizNat, can I read your packets?” Chie chuckled as she finished reading the contents of Aoi’s packet. 

Natsuki shot Chie a nasty look, to which the reporter flashed her most arresting smile. Shizuru handed Chie their packets. Kaname and Momomi smiled as they watched each of the couples swap and read the contents of their partner’s packets. As the faces of the women in the room began to darken, Kaname and Momomi thought it best to make a quiet exit. 

“WHAT?” the normally stoic Shizuma yelled after she finished the contents of Nagisa’s packet. 

“Shizuma?” Nagisa was worried, since she RARELY saw Shizuma this upset about anything, except Kaori, and set about the business of getting her wife to calm down. 

“NO!” Haruka crumpled up the papers in her hand and threw them across the room, nearly hitting Nagisa in the head. 

“Hey! Be careful,” Shizuma yelled as she pulled Nagisa closer to her. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Haruka bowed and apologized. 

“Haruka, stop that,” Michiru placed her hand on Haruka’s forearm to calm her down.

“Michiru, did you read what the fans are writing about you? Ami-chan? Setsuna? They make it sound like we live in a brothel!” Haruka’s voice was tense. 

“You’ve bedded almost every female in and out of our universe,” Michiru chided her most important partner. 

“Michiru, stop that,” Haruka blushed. 

Shizuru smiled as she watched their interaction. 

“Chikane-chan, the fans think you’re insane,” a surprised Himeko quietly said as she turned to look at her girlfriend, who was visibly angry and getting angrier by the second. 

“Himeko, they have you married to and having sex with Soma-kun,” Chikane forced through gritted teeth. 

“Same here,” Shizuma said as she placed her hand on Chikane’s arm to get her attention. 

When Chikane turned to look at who was addressing her, her eyes were SO dark, they startled Shizuma. 

“They have you married to and having sex with Soma-kun?” Chikane’s confusion lightened the darkness of her mood. 

“I’m assuming Soma-kun is a male?” Shizuma asked. Chikane nodded her head affirmatively. “They have my wife Nagisa and me switching teams all together!” Shizuma fumed. 

The noise level rose to nearly unbearable levels as the women became more agitated and started speaking to the other women in the room. 

On the other side of the door, Momomi asked Kaname, “Shouldn’t we get in there?” Kaname gave her a reassuring look, “Not yet. Not yet.” 

Nagisa, having reached her noise level limit, shouted, “EXCUSE ME?” 

All the women stopped talking and turned their attention to the perky young woman standing on her table. 

“Thank you. The noise level in here is reaching critical levels. Perhaps we could discuss everything as one group?” Nagisa requested. 

Shizuma could not help but beam with pride as she watched her wife take charge of the room. She smiled, as she realized Nagisa was no longer the little girl she met in high school. 

“Let’s begin by introducing ourselves one at a time. Since I have the floor, I’ll start. I am Aoi Nagisa and this beautiful woman is my wife Hanazono Shizuma. 

Shizuma stood and bowed. 

“I am Himemiya Chikane and this lovely woman is my most important partner Kurusugawa Himeko,” Chikane smiled. 

Himeko stood and bowed. 

“I am Harada Chie and this gorgeous creature is my girlfriend Senoh Aoi,” Chie grinned. 

Aoi stood and bowed. 

“I am Fujino Shizuru,” Shizuru stated. 

Natsuki waited for Shizuru to introduce her, but when she did not, Natsuki shot her a puzzled look and shrugged. 

“I am Kuga Natsuki, which makes us ‘ShizNat,’” Natsuki groaned and Shizuru giggled. 

“I am Kaioh Michiru and this is my most important partner,” Michiru said and nudged Haruka. 

“Huh? Oh, I am Tenoh Haruka,” Haruka added. 

“Now that that’s out of the way, shall we open the discussion?” Nagisa began. 

All the women began speaking at once, so Shizuma stood, and in her best Etoile voice said, “In an orderly fashion please,” and before sitting back down, helped Nagisa off the table. 

“Since we began introductions on this side of the room, let’s open the discussion on the other side of the room. Tenoh-san?” Nagisa asked. 

“Since I’m not very good at this type of thing, I’ll let Michiru speak for us,” Haruka answered. 

“We found it quite disturbing and aggravating at the amount of creative license the fans took. Several of the writings depicted me as a bisexual pedophile that sleeps around quite a bit. They depicted Haruka as a lesbian pedophile who has bedded most of the females in and outside the universe,” Michiru’s voice was straining to maintain composure. 

The other women stared at Michiru with wide eyes and open mouths. 

When Haruka finally took notice of them, she barked, “HEY! We’re a happy NORMAL lesbian couple!” Haruka smiled and added, “I just happen to be an outrageous flirt.” 

With this admission, Natsuki glared over at Shizuru, who pretended not to notice, but Michiru noticed. She leaned over to Natsuki and whispered in her ear. When Natsuki laughed, Shizuru glared at Michiru. 

“Michiru, what did you say to Kuga-san?” Haruka asked. 

“I just gave her some advice,” Michiru answered. 

“My Natsuki, what did Kaioh-san say?” Shizuru softly asked. 

“She gave me some advice,” Natsuki answered. 

In order to break up the private conversation going on at that end of the table, Nagisa loudly cleared her throat and said, “Kuga-san, you are next.” 

“IDIOTS!” Natsuki stood abruptly, sending her chair flying backwards yet again. 

Shizuru, Chie, and Aoi rolled their eyes. Natsuki caught the eye rolling. She glared and shot them nasty looks. 

Ignoring her girlfriend and two friends, Natsuki continued, “I don’t mind the fact they have Shizuru and I coupled. We fought long and hard for our love. I would NEVER cheat on Shizuru and she would NEVER cheat on me. She’s just an outrageous flirt like Tenoh-san.” 

Natsuki smiled brightly at Michiru. Shizuru caught it and shot a death look at Michiru. 

“Michiru, why does Fujino-san look like she wants to kill you?” Haruka whispered. 

Michiru smiled and dismissed Haruka with a pat on the forearm. 

“Those idiots depict Shizuru as some psychopath who enjoys going around killing people!” Natsuki concluded, sat down in her chair that Shizuru righted earlier, and wrapped her arm around Shizuru. 

“They depict Chikane-chan the same way!” Himeko piped in, much to everyone’s surprise. 

Noticing everyone staring at her, Himeko sheepishly smiled and looked down at her lap. 

Nagisa, attempting to get the shy girl to speak, addressed Chie, “Harada-san, would you mind if we came back to you and Senoh-san?” 

“Sure. We can wait,” Chie answered. 

“Kurusugawa-san, please continue,” Nagisa asked. 

Chikane placed her hand reassuringly on Himeko’s back and smiled when Himeko shyly looked at her. 

Himeko swallowed and declared, “Chikane-chan is NOT insane! She did what she had to do to protect me, because she loves me.” 

After Himeko finished, she leaned into Chikane, who wrapped a protective arm around her. 

“Same here,” Natsuki defended, “Shizuru did what she had to do to protect me.” 

Shizuru looked at Natsuki with loving eyes and whispered, "I love you, my Natsuki," in her ear, causing Natsuki to blush crimson red. 

A soft collective “Kawaii” floated through the room. 

Chikane released Himeko and spoke, “They have Himeko married to and…having sex…with Soma-kun…a male! They soiled my Himeko with male hands!” 

Himeko began to worry as the darkness returned to Chikane’s eyes. 

Shizuma reported, “It seems some of our male fans are **so** obsessed with us, other fans call them “Loser Fan Boys.” The “Loser Fan Boys” vent their frustrations in their pathetic little fan fiction fantasies. Apparently, my wife and I have no problems switching teams all together,” she chuckled to herself as she realized just how absurd that was. 

Nagisa smiled at her wife. 

“Well boys, keep dreaming. Nagisa is all _bian_ and all mine!” Shizuma balled up the papers and deliberately threw them at Haruka, hitting her square on the top of the head, which was down on the table. 

When Haruka raised her head to see what hit her, Shizuma flashed her most charming smile, causing Haruka to blush. 

“Perverted!” squeaked Nagisa. She blushed as she finished reading the papers Haruka threw at her earlier. She handed them to Shizuma. 

Haruka leaned over and whispered in Michiru’s ear, “Aoi-san just finished reading that trash written about you, my love.” 

Michiru put her hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh. Haruka smoothed out the crumpled ball of paper that hit her on the head and began reading. 

The other women in the room began exchanging their papers with each other. 

“This is NOT yuri or shojo-ai! It is hentai!” a shocked Chikane blurted out after reading what Nagisa handed her. 

“Well, these make you and I look tame,” Chie said to Aoi. 

Upon hearing Chie’s voice, Nagisa realized she forgot about her and said, “Gomenasai Harada-san. I forgot you and Senoh-san.” 

“Aoi-san, after reading the fan fiction written about everyone else, we don’t have any complaints. At least they keep Aoi and I coupled, with the exception of pairing Aoi with the queen, without bringing a man or men into our relationship. So far, we have no complaints.” Chie returned to her reading. 

After everyone had a chance to read everything passed around the table, Nagisa spoke, “Now that everyone has had a chance to read the entire sampling presented here today, does anyone wish to discuss this further?” 

All the women spoke at once. Shizuma deeply sighed, stood, and in her best Etoile voice, repeated her earlier statement, “In an orderly fashion please,” and sat back down. 

“I noticed the works ranged from romantic fluff to extremely disturbing hentai. The latter written mostly by males,” Michiru began. “While we cannot stop this, there must be something we can do?” 

 Just as Michiru finished, Kaname and Momomi entered the room. 

“Yes, there is,” Kaname smirked as she and Momomi pulled up chairs. 

“Here it comes,” mumbled Shizuma. 

“Do you have something to say Shizuma- _sama_?” Kaname glared at her. 

“What is with you two?” Haruka spoke for the entire group. 

“We went to school together on Astrea Hill. Nagisa and I graduated from the prestigious St. Miator's Girls' Academy. Kaname and Momomi graduated from St. Spica's Girls' Institute,” Shizuma quickly answered, cutting off Kaname. 

“I’ve heard of Astrea Hill. There are three different all-girls schools on that hill. St. Lulim's Girls' School is the third,” Chie stated and began snickering. 

“What?” Shizuma inquired at her snickering. 

“I heard the schools on Astrea Hill; while graduating most of the successful women in Japan, also produces the highest number of _bians_.” Chie said as she held in a chuckle. 

“And where did you graduate from? A state school?” Shizuma smugly spat back. 

“Actually, I, Aoi, Natsuki, and Shizuru all graduated from the prestigious Fuka Academy,” Chie proudly answered. 

“A co-ed school,” Shizuma spat. 

“And what’s wrong with co-ed schools?” Chikane asked. 

“Nothing, if you like being around males,” Shizuma sarcastically replied. 

“Himeko and I attended the prestigious co-ed Ototachibana Academy and it didn’t change us,” Chikane evenly replied and shot Shizuma a look that silenced any further interaction. 

“Are we DONE comparing schools now?” Kaname sighed. 

“What is an ‘Etoile’?” Himeko softly asked. 

Kaname deeply sighed, rolled her eyes, and pointed to Shizuma. Of course, this only served to confuse Himeko further, causing her to knit her brow. Upon seeing the confusion written all over Himeko’s innocent face, Shizuma pulled her chair closer to Himeko and explained what an ‘Etoile’ is and does. Apparently, Shizuma, being Shizuma, got a bit too close to Himeko for Chikane and Nagisa’s comfort. Nagisa shot daggers into Shizuma’s back with her eyes. 

Chikane, her self-control finally exhausted, painfully removed Shizuma’s hand from Himeko’s back saying, “Hanazono-san, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t touch my Himeko.” 

The other women in the room watched in rapt fascination as this drama played out. 

“Michiru, please stay away from Hanazono-san,” Haruka said under her breath. 

Shizuma rubbed her sore hand as she backed away from Himeko and returned to Nagisa’s side. When she saw the upset look on her wife’s face, she instantly turned on the charm and began whispering in Nagisa’s ear, which resulted in Nagisa turning very red. 

“Michiru, definitely stay away from Hanazono-san,” Haruka softly said. 

“Haruka, she’s your type, not mine,” Michiru responded and giggled. 

After Nagisa came out of her Shizuma-induced trance, she noticed all the partners had moved closer to their respective loved ones and some had their arm possessively wrapped around them. She smiled at the knowledge her wife could cause that reaction and giggled, secure in the fact she is the ONLY one Shizuma desires in her bed. 

“See what you caused Shizuma- _sama_?” Kaname reprimanded. 

Shizuma sat in her chair looking innocent. 

“Now, back to what you can do about this travesty,” Kaname’s words dripped with venom.


End file.
